Monday, August 31, 2009

Reflection for August 2009

August 2009 may be another turning point for me in my spiritual walk with God. It will always be remembered when I wept 4 times. First, was debating via msn on the Health, Wealth and Prosperity Gospel (HWP) with a mega church member which left both sides wounded and hurt and I was being labelled as self-righteous. I ended the session by saying "I will pray and ask God if I am self-righteous or that I was defending His Scriptures." I chanced upon a video of John Piper preaching against the HWP and I felt comforted and that was when I first wept.

A few days later, I was listening to Paul Baloche's I Cling to the Cross and was at the same time forwarding my testimony to a new friend and I wept in office, recalling God's faithfulness and blessing on me over the years.

For those who know me and heard me sharing about my struggles over the years especially recently, that at the centre of my heart, soul and will, there is a great battle. I Cling to the Cross continued to speak to me "For without your great mercies, I would be forever lost, I cling to the cross" A third time that I wept in month of August 2009, sometimes unusual because tough Kelvin won't cry easily..

Aug 16 was my 6th' Army half marathon (AHM), I ran with injury this year. Not because I want to prove anything but primarily for 2 reasons

(1) Life is like a marathon, there are times when you are down, although you can't run but you still can walk to finish what you started.

(2) Marathon is a way for me to spend unhurried time with God, where I speak to Him and self-reflection.

After the race was completed in 3 hours, my worst ever timing yet there is a great sense of satisfaction. Perseverance and determination and grace of God carries me through, I rushed to church for 10am service and reach there in time and I wept. I do not understand what was going on with and in me? Is God trying to say something to me and I failed to listen? Is He preparing me for something? I don't even have the slightest clue and thus I shared with my DG (disciple group in IDT - intentional disciple training) and they prayed for me.

At the closing of IDMC ( intentional disciple making conference), my senior pastor shared that in 1999, during one of his praying time with God and asking God " what is His Agenda for the 21st century church?" God spoke to him clearly about 4 things

(1) The primal wounds of the heart ("unforgiveness")

(2) The cynicism of the mind ("doubting God")

(3) The paralysis of the will ("disobedience")

and finally (4) the overcrowding of the soul ("frantic pace and activities")

and he wept 4 times as well. haha..i believe is mere coincidence that both of us cried 4 times.

I felt God spoke to me. I wanted to love Him but I couldn't. My mind wandered away sometimes when I am praying or that in church...

The church today says..we NEED more missionaries..we need more pastors coz the world is in TROUBLE (global warming, many non-believers etc) but they got it wrong. The church is in TROUBLE as we are not producing disciples , people who love and worship God. In the words of my senior pastor, if we are producing disciples, then WHAT KIND?

As the IDMC and August 2009 comes to a close, I recalled something that CS Lewis said “I'm deathly afraid of personal spiritual deterioration, of having a name that I'm alive when I'm really dead...The present crisis won't be solved by Christians who get their food and weapons secondhand. It will be solved by people who walk with God, who feed on his word, who have strength for the battle, and who know how to use the sword of the Spirit. We need a return to the oldfashioned spiritual disciplines of life.

Warren Wiersbe goes on to say “the fact that I am involved in ministry is no protection. Even ministry can creates opportunity for the Enemy to work.” The sobering words of George Macdonalds arrest me “A man may sink by such slow degrees that, long after he is a devil, he may go on being a good churchman or a good dissenter, and thinking himself a good Christian.”

Even the great evangelist, Billy Graham was once quoted in Time Magazine. “I wake up every morning with the fear that I might let my Lord down.”

We're here to be worshippers first and workers only second. We take a convert and immediately make that new Christian a worker. God never meant it to be so. God meant that a convert should learn to be a worshipper, and after that he or she can learn to be a worker... The work done by a worshipper will have eternity in it. Warren Wiersbe, The Integrity Crisis

The one thing that God required from us "Love Him" not because He need it but we need it.

This leads me to recall that during Dawn Prayers, where one day Ps Ann asked " Are you hungry for God?" I felt like Apostle Peter who were asked by Jesus, his final question, Do you love me? Three times.

In my mind that that time, I felt it was a redundant and ridiculous question, if I am not hungry, why would I wake up at 5am to come for dawn prayers?

But now, I've gotta take back my words and God showed me what really is in my heart and how wrong I was.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

America Again by Carman

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson
Samuel Adams, First Chief Justice John Jay
Names synonymous with the spirit of our country
Founding fathers of the U.S.A.

Over 200 years ago they shook off the chains of tyranny from Great Britain By divine call
Citing 27 biblical violations they wrote the Declaration of Independence
With liberty and justice for all

But something happened since Jefferson called the Bible the cornerstone
For American liberty then put it in our schools as a light
Or since "Give me liberty or give me death", Patrick Henry said
Our country was founded on the Gospel of Jesus Christ

We eliminated God from the equation of American life
Thus eliminating the reason this nation first began
From beyond the grave I hear the voices of our founding fathers plead
You need God in America again

Of the 55 men who formed the Constitution
Fifty-two were active members of their church
Founding fathers like Noah Webster who wrote the first dictionary
Could literally quote the Bible chapter and verse

James Madison said, "We've staked our future on our ability to fallow
The Ten Commandments with all our heart"
These men believed you couldn't even call yourself an American
If you subvert the Word of God

In his farewell address, Washington said, "You can't have
National morality apart from religious principle," and it's true
'Cause right now we have nearly 150,000 kids carrying guns
To these war zones we call public schools

In the '40's and '50's student problems were chewing gum and talking
In the '90's, rape and murder are the trend
The only way this nation can even hope to last this decade
Is to put God in America again

The only hope for America is Jesus
The only hope for America is him
If we repent of our ways stand firm and say
We need God in America again

Abe Lincoln said, "The philosophy of the schoolroom in one generation
Will be the philosophy of the government of the next"
So when you eliminate the Word of God from the classroom and politics
You eliminate the nation that Word protects
America is now number one in teen pregnancy and violent crime
Number one in illiteracy, drug use and divorce
Every day a new holocaust of 5,000 unborn die
While pornography flood our streets like open sewers

America's dead and dying hand is on the threshold of the Church
While the spirit of Sodom and Gomorrah vex us all
When it gets to the point where people would rather come out of the closet than clean it
It's the sign that the judgement of God is gonna fall

If there's ever been a time to rise up Church, it's now
And as the blood bought saints of the living God proclaim
That it's time to send the alarm from the Church house to The White House
And say, "We want God in America again"

I believe it's time America to stand up and proclaim
That one nation under God is our demand
And send this evil lifestyle back to Satan where it came from
And let the Word of God revive our dying land

For Jesus Christ is coming back again in all His glory
And every eye shall see Him on that day
That's why a new anointing of God's power's coming on us
To boldly tell the world you must be saved

Because astrology won't save you, your horoscope won't save you
The Bible says these things are all farce
If you're born again you don't need to look to the stars for your answers
'Cause you can look to the very One who made those stars

History tells us time and time again
To live like there's no God makes you a fool
If you want to see kids live right
Stop handing out condoms and start handing out the Word of God in schools

The only hope for America is Jesus
The only hope for America is him
If we repent of our ways stand firm and say
We need God in America again

We need God in America
God in America
God in America again